BBC Learnings · Section 9

Anxious about talking to new people

Now, Georgina, you're a chatty, sociable kind of person, aren't you? Well, yes, I think so. But would you go

Level: B2 · 115 sentences

Transcript

  1. Now, Georgina, you're a chatty, sociable kind of person, aren't you?
  2. Well, yes, I think so. But would you go
  3. up to a stranger and strike up a conversation?
  4. That might be going too far.
  5. If you don't know them, what are you going
  6. to start talking about? A good question.
  7. But maybe you should, because in this programme we're looking
  8. at how talking to strangers might actually be good for you.
  9. But first, let me talk to you about today's question.
  10. I'd like you to answer this.
  11. To make conversation, we need words.
  12. So, according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
  13. approximately how many words are in use in the English language?
  14. Is it a 171,146, b 271,146 or c 371,146?
  15. We use a lot of words in English but not 371,000
  16. so I'll go for a 171,146.
  17. OK, well as always I'll reveal the answer later in the programme.
  18. Now let's continue our conversation about having conversations with strangers.
  19. Many of us spend part of every day surrounded by strangers,
  20. whether on our commute to work,
  21. sitting in a park or cafe or visiting the supermarket.
  22. But we rarely reach out and talk to them
  23. because we fear it would make
  24. us both feel uncomfortable or awkward.
  25. And Gillian Sandstrom, social psychologist from Essex University in the UK,
  26. can explain why. Here she is speaking
  27. on BBC Radio 4's All In The Mind programme.
  28. We kind of underestimate, we have this negative voice
  29. in our head that's telling us,
  30. oh, I shouldn't have said that, why did I do that, I
  31. said that story better last time.
  32. But the other person doesn't know
  33. any of that and they're probably, you know,
  34. they might be anticipating that they won't have a positive conversation
  35. and then they do and they
  36. think, wow, that person was amazing.
  37. So we walk around with this fear that...
  38. the other person isn't going to be interested in talking to us.
  39. Fascinating stuff! So we have a negative voice
  40. in our head telling us about all
  41. the bad things that might happen.
  42. We basically underestimate ourselves.
  43. To underestimate means to think that something is smaller
  44. or less important than it really is.
  45. We worry that what we say
  46. won't be interesting or important enough.
  47. Ah, but the other person doesn't know that.
  48. They're also anticipating or guessing the outcome.
  49. They're thinking that if they have a conversation, it won't go well.
  50. But of course, when strangers do talk
  51. to each other, it normally goes well.
  52. Yes, it's just fear that is stopping us.
  53. But if we get over that fear
  54. and get chatting, people might actually like us.
  55. We might make new friends.
  56. Another reason why you should pluck up the courage
  57. to talk to strangers is that it is good for our health.
  58. pluck up the courage. That's a good phrase, Georgina,
  59. meaning force yourself to do something that you're scared about.
  60. And research by the University of Chicago.
  61. found we may often underestimate the positive impact of connecting
  62. with others for both our own and others' wellbeing.
  63. And connecting here means starting or having a good relationship with someone.
  64. So the research found that, for example,
  65. having a conversation with a stranger on your way to work
  66. may leave you both feeling happier than you would think.
  67. Gillian Sandstrom also spoke about her research
  68. and the power of talking to strangers
  69. on the You and Yours programme.
  70. Listen out for the word connected.
  71. What we've shown in the research
  72. is that it's really good for your mood.
  73. So people are in a better mood after they
  74. reach out and have a conversation, however minimal.
  75. And the other thing that the research has shown is it
  76. just makes people feel more connected to each other.
  77. There you go.
  78. Talking to strangers is good for our mood
  79. and mood means the way we feel.
  80. It's good for our mental health
  81. and we might discover people actually like us.
  82. And even if we're an introvert,
  83. a person who prefers to be alone rather than with others,
  84. experiments have shown that talking to others can make us happier.
  85. The problem remains, Neil, that when speaking
  86. to someone new, what do you talk
  87. about? How about some interesting facts?
  88. Like approximately how many words are in use in the English language?
  89. Which is what I asked you earlier.
  90. Is it a 171,146? b 271,146 or c 371,146.
  91. What did you say, Georgina? I said 171,146.
  92. Was I right? Spot on, Georgina!
  93. Well done. Yes, there's an estimated 171,146 words currently in use.
  94. in the English language according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
  95. plus many more obsolete words.
  96. I shall pick a few of them
  97. and make conversation with someone on the Tube later,
  98. but not before we recap some of the vocabulary we've explained.
  99. Yes, so we highlighted six words starting with underestimate,
  100. which is to think that something is smaller
  101. or less important than it really is.
  102. Anticipating means guessing or expecting a certain outcome.
  103. I anticipate this programme to be six minutes long.
  104. That's a given.
  105. Next, we mentioned the phrase to pluck up the courage,
  106. meaning to force yourself to do something
  107. that you're scared or nervous about.
  108. When you connect with someone, it means you start
  109. or have a good relationship with someone.
  110. I think we've connected on this programme, Neil.
  111. Absolutely, Georgina.
  112. And that's put me in a good mood.
  113. Mood means the way we feel.
  114. And finally, an introvert is a person
  115. who prefers to spend time on their own.